All Apologies

I apologize to myself for not being better about maintaining this thing. Having a consistent blog takes discipline. Discipline I don't have.

But I felt this moment was a good one to steal away and type nonsensically for a few moments as my house/life is falling apart.

As I am graduating this year, we are selling my childhood home. I was okay with this for the 12 years I have lived here (I have very few memories of our apartment in Manhattan, therefore no so much nostalgia) but now that we're down to the last 5 or so months, I am a complete mess (actually, the messy bit has been going on for a bit longer).

Example: the fam was at my sisters home in DC for a few days and at the dinner table my parents began talking about selling our house. My eyes became all watery and gross and I asked to be excused from the table and went to go cry in the kitchen. And this says a lot as I really never cry. REALLY. So, yes, I know there is something terrible going on when crying just becomes a little easier for me.

I actually didn't intend for this post to go in the home-selling direction but I guess it is. There is no stopping it!!

Selling this house feels like we're offing a dear dear dear old old old friend. "Oh, sorry, you've been in our lives for a long long time and we love you to pieces but its time to move on." But instead of sending a christmas card and going for coffee every few years to annull the friendship we instead resort to murder. Charming.

At this present moment, my bedroom is in shambles. We're re-plastering/painting the walls/ceiling and I had to take down most ofthe pictures and posters I so carefully selected and placed upon the wall and all the furniture has been moved to the center of the room and all my crap is scattered about the house. I am without my OWN SPACE. It makes me crazy. I never unerstood the importance of a bedroom until now. My dad spent his adolescence on a pull-out couch in his living room. I really really feel for him.

I also have a serious issue with fixing up this house to make it more presentable for someone else who when they buy it will most likely alter it beytond recognition as is the current trend when people buy charming homes from the forties. I smell stucco coming on. I feel ill.