Harold, Maude, 2008

Last night I was watching Harold and Maude - my absolute favorite movie of all time. Normally I don't have "favorites" (because I like too much and usually feel like I'm cheating other quality things...) but this move is the... shit. Honestly, it makes me feel really good every time I watch it. For my birthday my best friend made up these jars of odors like Maude's odoriphics (it was quite cute and very heartfelt). Anyway, the point of mentioning all that was to bring up a transitional quote. At one point in the movie, Maude says:

Harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.

That is what I want 2008 to be. I want to feel free to make an ass out of myself. I am usually very careful and cautious about my words and actions, but if I want to make things happen, I shouldn't feel afraid to look like a fool. And there are things I want to get done this year, hell, there are things I want to get done by next month! The only way to accomplish all this is to actually make an effort. What a novel concept. I can't be bothered by little things like the world.

Yes, this is my year of taking action and being an ass (of sorts). I guess you could call that some sort of resolution. But I don't like that term, it seems half-assed (I know, over using the word, but it fits). I am a Harold but I'd like to become a Maude.

Final Exits

I am thumbing through a rather interesting book I received for Christmas titled, Final Exits. It's basically a paperback encyclopedia that categorizes all the ways people die. Just the sort of thing I find particularly fascinating. However, one of the more interesting things I read in the book was on the author's reasons for putting it together/ things he learned while making the book. He writes:

"Of course, the medical aspect of how a person dies has remained the same since prehistoric times - the heart finally stops beating - yet many things that have caused the death have changed. With each advance in technology we discovered brand new ways to become deceased. As a student of Anthropology and sociology, I saw how the connection in the variety of ways in which people met their destiny exemplified clearly how they lived. Thus, death becomes a benchmark of our culture, and I set out to gauge the rising water, to discover how it was we died, and how we die now."

What caught my attention the most was how death is a "benchmark of our culture." That being said, did you know that there are 11,345 annual fatalities at U.S. Malls? In 2004 alone Americans took 3 billion doses of diet pills which led to 54 deaths and approx. 1,000 reports of serious complications. Since 1985 there have been 2,871 deaths from Botox injections. And there were 11,345 visits to the emergency room in 2002 because of poisoning due to rouges or liquid foundations.

Very interesting stuff. There are way more ways to die than I could ever imagine. Amazing how the way people die speaks volumes about the societies in which they live.

Free Time

The holidays have been over for about 3 days. The family is gone, the house is clean. This means I have more time than I know what to do with. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I have little (pretty much none) homework. The time I have spent away from this goddamn computer has been artistically productive.

Observe:

1- Major progress on the Vampire saga I've been working on for Creative Writing (for the past 4 months!)

2- 4 poems have been written. 1 has been started. 2 others have been edited.

3- Major headway on the canvas I started in August.

4- Repair work on a canvas from last December.

5- 2 meaningless sketches.

6- planning for a new canvas. Research in progress on lawn tractors and obese people.

7- Knitting of neckwarmer has begun.

I have also been productive in other areas (productivity, I realize, is relative):

1- I am starting to construct my pinhole camera. Photography is only difficult for me because I am crap with machines, this is why I rely on pens and paints and papers.

2- 4 episodes of the X-Files have been watched, and I have 6 more before I am finished with season 4! Looks like I need to order some more.

3- I have been able to start the book my dad has wanted me to read called, Defying Hitler.

4- My new Elliott Smith CD has been allotted serious listening time.

5- I have also (finally) been able to listen to some of the LPs I bought last month. I very much enjoy the mysterious Japanese bamboo flute one.

6- The Nutella has not been touched for the time being, so I am safe. I know once the jar is opened, it is the beginning of the end. I'll just close my eyes when I walk through the kitchen.

I am perfectly content to while away the hours in my fleece pants and grungy sweatshirt. I don't need to dress for anyone, and I don't plan on leaving the house (until tomorrow, that is). Going 3 consecutive days not exiting my home and staying in loungy garments is actually a God send. This past semester I was on the end of my rope. For the first time in a very VERY long time I feel very little stress and a lazy grungy me is actually a happy me. I am not fit for public, but that notion is surprisingly settling. No expectations! I think slaves to appearance and fashion must consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine; they need to spend a few days in sweats watching 90s TV shows. Everyone needs to spend a few days doing that. Screw spas.

X-files

We wanted to believe... we wanted to call out. On August 20th and September 5th 1977, two spacecraft were launched from the Kennedy Space Flight Centre, Florida. They were called Voyager. Each one carries a message. A gold-plated record depicting images, music and sounds of our planet, arranged so that it may be understood if ever intercepted by a technologically mature extraterrestrial civilisation. Thirteen years after its launch, Voyager I passed the orbital plane of Neptune and essentially left the solar system. Within that time there were no further messages sent, nor are any planned. We wanted to listen. On October 12th 1992 NASA initiated the high resolution microwave survey. A decade long search by radio telescope scanning ten million frequencies for any transmission by extraterrestrial intelligence. Less than one year later first term Senator Richard Brian successfully championed an amendment which terminated the project. I wanted to believe, but the tools had been taken away. The X-Files had been shut down. They closed our eyes... our voices have been silenced.... our ears now deaf to the realms of extreme possibilities.

from: Little Green Men

I love the X-files. Someone once told me it was a waste of my time to get involved in this show, that conspiracy theories and extraterrestrial/paranormal musings were a complete waste of time. That's all well and good for that person, but I for one am intrigued by these "extreme possibilities." I wholeheartedly believe that things occur out there that are more intense and fanciful than anything we could dream up. Decisions are constantly being made that affect the lives of citizens of the earth. We can ignore them, certainly. But I want to awaken my senses and imagination and intellectual curiosity. I want to believe.

The Snow Melts

For 2008, I have decided to sit down and embrace the internet as a theraputic tool. I had let powers of facebook take over my life, and since then decided the internet was far too heavy and modern and powerful to waste my time with. But I have come crawling back.

The other blogs I tended to in the past are far too old and full of ugly portraits of myself to refresh.

Yes, 2008 will be the year of the new blog. It will be better than any before it. Ich hoffe.

Usually, as the year comes to an end, I begin to reflect upon the past 365 1/4 days.

Here are some of my conclusions:
1- It's more worth my while to read the books rather than pine for people to talk about them with.
2- Forcing myself to dislike things will only cause pain and humiliation.
3- The more time spent on outfit, the worse it looks.
4- There will be many suprises.
5- Europeans understand public transportation.
6- Being with people can be just as fullfilling as being alone.
7- Subir une épreuve!
8- The Atlantic is very big and phone calls to Germany are very expensive.
9- Charles Dickens knows his stuff.
10- My hair cannot be tamed.

Writing helps solidify the moment.